The General

I love the fact that Grandma's children called her "The General." It was so fitting. I loved watching everyone at family gatherings make a beeline for Grandma when they arrived. She didn't have to find anyone, we always found her. In college, I started trying to prepare myself for the day when Grandma would no longer be with us. My first thought was, "How will we go on when our matriarch is no longer with us?" She truly was the center of this family, but I think the vigil and funeral showed how we would go on - by continuing to be the supportive, loving family Grandma raised and by continuing to share memories of her.

When my Grandma Jo passed away this past spring, I called Grandma Jeanne to say hello...and perhaps get a little sympathy. I got none. When I told her I was sad about my grandma's passing she pretty much said, "Well that's life" and moved on. I knew then that whatever may come to her, she was ready.

I think some of my favorite times with Grandma were the times I went and helped her wrap Christmas gifts. After I had stopped playing basketball in high school, I had some free time on my hands. Grandma was getting older and couldn't quite wrap all the gifts she got people, so I eagerly volunteered to help her. I would go down and spend the weekend with her. Her house was always warm and welcoming, but especially so at Christmas. I loved all the decorations in every room and the many Santas adorning her mantel and shelves. She would bring all of her gifts out from her gift closet and lay them out. Then we would put sticky-notes on them all so she could remember who they were for. I would sit and wrap gift after gift and Grandma wasn't shy about critiquing my wrapping. She would sit there and write up the tags and I'd stick them on. When our work was done for the day I would make dinner, or she would make her delicious meat loaf (seriously, it was good) and we would sit and chat. Then, because I can't play cribbage even though I have been taught multiple times, she and I would play Kings in the Corner. I always found that game to be special as well. Grandma took the time to teach it to me because she knew I didn't know how to play cribbage. I loved playing with her. I think the best thing about the whole experience was that in a family of so many, I got to have one-on-one time with Grandma. Those moments didn't come often, so I cherished them when they did.

My last visit to Grandma in August definitely left an impression on me. First off, we had to find her. She wasn't in her room and the staff said she had left with Connie. I found it slightly hilarious because, of course, out of all the residents there, it would be Grandma that we couldn't find. We called Mom who called Mary and Connie and eventually we found Grandma back in her room. She had been walking the halls. When we were visiting with her, she said that she was proud to have lived her whole life in Montana. Everything she needed or wanted was here - her family, her friends, and her church. That sentiment came at the right time for me and has been in the back of my mind as Shane and I look at the next steps in life.

The picture above means so much to me because it embodies Grandma so well - the side hug, the hand on the hip, and even though we have funny faces, she's looking directly into my eyes. As Jake mentioned - she's leaning in. I love this picture because it's not posed, it was captured in the moment. Even though there are many family members milling about, Grandma is taking a moment with me. There are so many things I loved about her. Many of you have already touched upon them. Her outlook on life (you can choose to be happy or choose to be sad) was simple yet effective. It's something I struggle with, but am working towards every day. Her love of family was immense. And her faith life was one to be modeled.

I have done a lot of self-reflection over the past month. I have thought about Grandma a lot and the qualities she embodied. I often find myself thinking, "You need to be kinder. You need to be patient. You need to relax." And I immediately think of Grandma. My motto has become not "What Would Jesus Do," but "What Would Grandma Do", because I know they'd have the same result. It's hard knowing that I won't see her again. I can't call her on the phone or write her a letter. I won't hear her laugh or feel her warm hugs. But that doesn't mean she's gone. She has left quite the legacy. And she has passed down many of her amazing traits to her children and grandchildren. I know that if I want to see some of her most amazing qualities - putting others first, strong faith life, love of family - then I just need to look at my mom.

I will carry so many wonderful memories of Grandma with me for the rest of my life. I will try to set my life compass closer to hers, because she had it pointed in a pretty great direction. And I will remember that sometimes, all you need is a hot taco and a cold beer.

I love you Grandma!