Season's greetings from here in Great Falls!! I hope you are ringing in the New Year tomorrow with your loved ones and that 2016 finds you in good health.

As 2015 comes to a close, I am flooded with memories of the past year: friendships and relationships that have come and gone, tests for school that probably needed more studying, work, the list goes on. With Grandma's death, however, those memories are overpowered by new ones of family and love. 

I wasn't as fortunate as the older cousins to know Grandma for as long as they did.  I only had 22 years to get the full Grandma experience.  Just as everyone as said, there were the outstanding memories of Grandma's house: the apple tree, raspberry bushes, sports in the front yard, the can crusher in the garage, the candy drawer in the kitchen that really wasn't hidden.  I have a very distinct memory of Nate tackling me when we were playing football because I was the only one he COULD tackle.  This particular tackle sent me onto the sidewalk, however, and since I was maybe seven, I obviously cried and ran to Grandma and mom on the deck.  Strangely, in the midst of tears and telling on Nate, I also recall remembering how mom and Grandma both approached my pain the same exact way.  They pretty much told me, in a much more consoling way, to get over it.  It wasn't mean or annoyance.  It was just matter-of-factly.  They had experienced this before and they knew I wasn't dying.  I realize now that all the cousins had seen this reaction from Grandma and their respective parents.  Nate never did get in trouble…

In my 22 years, I never was without the love she gave.  Everyone has remembered her abundance of love and she never took a day, or a grandchild, off.  10 years ago, I was able to live in Grandma's old house for a couple months and it was definitely noticeable the warmth and love that just seemed to float around her house. Whenever anyone visited, the love increased and you could see Grandma light up with joy. 

I was fortunate enough to visit Grandma the Wednesday before she died.  Most of my memories of her house, her love, were from a child's point of view and the Grandma I saw at Highgate did not fit that bill.  She was tired and ill.  I remember her being enthusiastic.  This in addition to mom informing me earlier in the week that Grandma wasn't doing well led me to realize that this was her time.  The only thing I can imagine is that she had more love to give but not enough time. 

Again, I hope you have a great new year and God bless!!

Samuel

Jeanne had common sense and uncommon love – an unusual combination. On those occasions when I was able to spend one-on-one time with her, I felt fully myself and fully accepted.

A few years ago, we spent a few hours together at her condo.  It was such a joy to be with her in both conversation and in silences. Jeanne was a very thought-full person.  I had not realized how considered many of her comments were until that day. 

As so many have said, Jeanne exemplified a compassionate life.  Her openness, generosity, and acceptance of the frailties of my humanness was an immense gift.  I feel privileged to have been accepted so fully into her family through her open heart and constant willingness to learn about new people, new loves.

I am grateful to have known and loved her.

With love to all,

Ann

Greetings from Hawaii!

Hello, dear family, from sunny Waikiki!  We have had a wonderful couple of days here, and I can relax in knowing that I didn't forget to take a minute from fun in the sun to share with you some of my most fond memories of Gramma.  It has been so therapeutic for me to read all of our posts.  With each one, I can't help it but shed a tear or two. 

One of my funniest memories of Gramma was fairly recently.  It was the first time I brought Birch to a family event; I think it was Meghan and Ryan's wedding.  We arrived at Gramma's house, and as usual everyone was gathered in the kitchen.  We were standing around her table talking, and she had the weirdest expression on her face as she chewed what we all thought was a piece of food.  After a few minutes she said, "What the...who gave me this!"  And, she pulled a packing peanut out of her mouth.  I believe the answer was, "Umm, no one, mom." from my dad.  We all laughed, and she must have eaten something actually edible.  I always chuckle a little when I think about it.

Another gift that Gramma gave me, both literally and figuratively, was my  life size Raggedy Ann doll.   It was for Christmas, and I was about 5 or 6 years old.  I can't even begin to explain how much I loved that doll.  I took her everywhere, dressed her in my clothes, and slept with her every night.  She endured many torn appendages, mostly due to Nate, and was my childhood best friend.  For years she was with me every day.  I like to think that Gramma was too.  Gramma was there when I was sick.  Gramma was there when I said my evening prayers.  There for every good day and bad day.  I still have this doll.  She sits in the top of one of my closets.  Her face is held together with a Nylon from all the years of using her as a pillow, and she looks kind like Frankenstein from how many times mom sewed her arms and legs back on.  I still can't bring myself to get rid of her.  I don't think I ever will.

Gramma's passing has brought a whole new emotional side to me.  I am not usually the most outwardly sentimental person, and the week of Gramma's was tough for me.  Had I been able to stand up at her vigil, I would have said the only reason we all hurt so deeply is because we loved her so so much.  And that's okay.  Love you all.

The General

I love the fact that Grandma's children called her "The General." It was so fitting. I loved watching everyone at family gatherings make a beeline for Grandma when they arrived. She didn't have to find anyone, we always found her. In college, I started trying to prepare myself for the day when Grandma would no longer be with us. My first thought was, "How will we go on when our matriarch is no longer with us?" She truly was the center of this family, but I think the vigil and funeral showed how we would go on - by continuing to be the supportive, loving family Grandma raised and by continuing to share memories of her.

When my Grandma Jo passed away this past spring, I called Grandma Jeanne to say hello...and perhaps get a little sympathy. I got none. When I told her I was sad about my grandma's passing she pretty much said, "Well that's life" and moved on. I knew then that whatever may come to her, she was ready.

I think some of my favorite times with Grandma were the times I went and helped her wrap Christmas gifts. After I had stopped playing basketball in high school, I had some free time on my hands. Grandma was getting older and couldn't quite wrap all the gifts she got people, so I eagerly volunteered to help her. I would go down and spend the weekend with her. Her house was always warm and welcoming, but especially so at Christmas. I loved all the decorations in every room and the many Santas adorning her mantel and shelves. She would bring all of her gifts out from her gift closet and lay them out. Then we would put sticky-notes on them all so she could remember who they were for. I would sit and wrap gift after gift and Grandma wasn't shy about critiquing my wrapping. She would sit there and write up the tags and I'd stick them on. When our work was done for the day I would make dinner, or she would make her delicious meat loaf (seriously, it was good) and we would sit and chat. Then, because I can't play cribbage even though I have been taught multiple times, she and I would play Kings in the Corner. I always found that game to be special as well. Grandma took the time to teach it to me because she knew I didn't know how to play cribbage. I loved playing with her. I think the best thing about the whole experience was that in a family of so many, I got to have one-on-one time with Grandma. Those moments didn't come often, so I cherished them when they did.

My last visit to Grandma in August definitely left an impression on me. First off, we had to find her. She wasn't in her room and the staff said she had left with Connie. I found it slightly hilarious because, of course, out of all the residents there, it would be Grandma that we couldn't find. We called Mom who called Mary and Connie and eventually we found Grandma back in her room. She had been walking the halls. When we were visiting with her, she said that she was proud to have lived her whole life in Montana. Everything she needed or wanted was here - her family, her friends, and her church. That sentiment came at the right time for me and has been in the back of my mind as Shane and I look at the next steps in life.

The picture above means so much to me because it embodies Grandma so well - the side hug, the hand on the hip, and even though we have funny faces, she's looking directly into my eyes. As Jake mentioned - she's leaning in. I love this picture because it's not posed, it was captured in the moment. Even though there are many family members milling about, Grandma is taking a moment with me. There are so many things I loved about her. Many of you have already touched upon them. Her outlook on life (you can choose to be happy or choose to be sad) was simple yet effective. It's something I struggle with, but am working towards every day. Her love of family was immense. And her faith life was one to be modeled.

I have done a lot of self-reflection over the past month. I have thought about Grandma a lot and the qualities she embodied. I often find myself thinking, "You need to be kinder. You need to be patient. You need to relax." And I immediately think of Grandma. My motto has become not "What Would Jesus Do," but "What Would Grandma Do", because I know they'd have the same result. It's hard knowing that I won't see her again. I can't call her on the phone or write her a letter. I won't hear her laugh or feel her warm hugs. But that doesn't mean she's gone. She has left quite the legacy. And she has passed down many of her amazing traits to her children and grandchildren. I know that if I want to see some of her most amazing qualities - putting others first, strong faith life, love of family - then I just need to look at my mom.

I will carry so many wonderful memories of Grandma with me for the rest of my life. I will try to set my life compass closer to hers, because she had it pointed in a pretty great direction. And I will remember that sometimes, all you need is a hot taco and a cold beer.

I love you Grandma!

Happy 40th, Hannah!

Interspersed among memories is a great celebration – Hannah turns 40 today! If I may offer a tribute, I think she's delightful, talented, funny, devoted, and all-around exceptional. She was born on a Sunday, and truly is a Sunday's child.

One Last Visit

Good afternoon sweet family! I am posting from rainy, chilly Sequim Washington today. I am out here visiting Miss Christina and her wonderful family. I have loved reading each of your sincere posts and memories of Grandma. Like all of you, this family has been such a critical element in the foundation of every pillar of my life. Grandma taught me by her example how to worship the Creator of the universe and the Perfect Example of Love in Jesus Christ. She enforced, and Mom and Dad reinforced, a strict adherence to scholarship and self-development. None of these, however, would have taken root and blossomed without the warmth and love of family.

The last time I visited with her was in October when she spent a couple of days in the hospital with a pretty minor illness. She couldn’t really remember coming in to the hospital, only that she “felt much better BEFORE she came in.” Well she and I chatted a little bit about what I was doing- the same conversation about work, Army, Christina, 5 year plan in a 5 minute loop- and her habitual grumblings about the gown, and how much she hated being in the hospital. Then she paused for about a minute and asked “Do you think this is the end?” It caught me a little off guard, and I had to swallow hard, but I replied, “Well I don’t know! We certainly hope it isn’t! But even if it is Grandma, you can rest peacefully knowing your children and grandchildren have grown to be happy and healthy, loved and successful.” She was pretty content with that answer, and her mood certainly lifted. “You know,” she said with her little chuckle, “I am ready for the good Lord to take me. But I really like it here, I think if He will let me, I will just stick around a little while longer.” I had to swallow a little harder that time.

We were holding hands, and the tears were welling in my eyes, but I was very content. She and I had talked about death and God and what is faith many times before. For the last few years, I have wondered if I had seen her for the last time: this same woman who hollered at me about elbows on the table and whiffle balls on the dining room window; the Christmas pro of posts past; the St. Gerard’s and Holy Spirit Parish Matriarch who used to be the impetus to decision making, which impacted our whole community. Now here she is: 91, coughing and wheezing with every word, but no less a powerful presence of determination, stubbornness, and submission only to the Will of her God. So I dug in my pocket and pulled out two of her old Rosaries, and asked if she would like to pray the ancient prayers of our faith together. She said she very much would like to.

She bowed her head- how many times had she bowed her head like that? With one eye closed tight and one eye lifted towards heaven and her beloved God, she began her prayers, deliberately and faithfully. Somewhere in the third decade, mid-Hail Mary the hospital priest walked in. Without missing a stride, he joined right in until we finished that decade. Then he asked if she would like to take Communion to which she replied to me: “Who the devil is that?” (she couldn’t see very well). I laughed and said it was Fr. Rafael, the hospital chaplain. He gave us Communion, we thanked him, he left and we resumed our Rosary. We finally got to the Hail Holy Queen and after about the second line “Our light, our sweetness, and our hope,” we both stopped, looked at each other, and she says, “What’s next?” I laughed and said, “all of a sudden I don’t remember!” She laughed a big, hearty laugh, which drew some more coughs then a few more conservative chuckles. The words finally came to me “To thee do we cry…” and we finished our Rosary.

She squeezed my hand and said it was the best Rosary she had prayed- I could hardly disagree- and that the visit from the priest was pretty special- providence I would say. We talked a little more about life, how proud she was of our family, how impressed she was with all of our successes. I was choking down tears again when she looked right into my eyes, my soul and told me she was awfully proud of the man I had become. Like my mother remarked early, she was not one to tell you she loved you, but she gave me a big hug and said, “I love you, Nicko!” I left the hospital room with the floodgates open, and peace in my heart.

I will never, ever forget that visit. While it broke my heart that circumstances would not allow for me to attend her funeral 2 months later, I have felt at peace, knowing she is at peace. I was able to come home that weekend and visit her and Grandpa’s burial site. I brought with me her Rosary, meaning to leave it at the stone. While sharing stories and prayers with Jake, Dee, Madison, Mom, and Dad, I thought better of it. These beads will just weather and fade, unused while the world around them moves on for better or worse. A much better tribute would be to keep these beads, to remind me to worship the Creator- paying tribute to providence and casting myself in Jesus’s mold. She would be far better memorialized with me on my knees rotating these beads, reciting these ancient prayers, and meditating on the mysteries surrounding them, than leaving them to litter the cemetery grounds.

After this week, I go back to my life, and sometimes that is a hard place to go. There are many stresses, uncertainties, consolations, and desolations. Grandma has always been a constant- and it is painful to lose that. But she will never die. In our humble submission to the vast greatness of Creator and Creation, we emulate her! In our all of our respective pursuits to make this world a better place, she lives on! In the love, patience, and kindness we share as a family, her spirit thrives!

Merry Christmas, I love you all, and much joy, hope, love, and beauty in the new year!

Nick

Christmas At Grandma's

Good morning, family.  I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas.  I made it to Billings and spent a wonderful day with the family which included Joey, Erin, and Henry joining us for dinner.

For me, Christmas was the holiday that most reminds me of Grandma, Great Falls, and family. Typing this right now I'm getting emotional thinking about all of the Christmas mornings I spent in Grandma's living room.

We'd leave Billings packed with presents - driving the two lane highway through Broadview, Ryegate, a stop at Ray's in Harlow, past Eddie's Corner, and then hit the home stretch into Great Falls.  There was a traditional game where Shannon and I would see who could first see the "golf balls" at the Base (some radar at Malstrom that has since been taken down).  That's when we knew we were there.

Driving in on 10th and taking the right by Joann's Fabrics was the final sign that we had about three minutes left in the car.  I still find myself wanting to take that right when I drive in Great Falls now.  As a young kid, driving up to Grandma's house was so exciting.  I can vividly remember pulling up to the curb and running in to see Grandma.  Her hugs were the best and the house was the warmest and most welcoming place I've ever been.  At Christmas there was the tree, the Santas... it was everything I needed to feel like Christmas was here.

Shannon and I would go to sleep in the room with the green single beds like many cousins have.  We'd be so excited that Santa was coming and could hardly sleep.  We'd hear the pipes and the creaks of  Grandma's house and wonder if that was Santa.  At 5AM, we'd run to our parent's room and beg them to go upstairs with us.  For  20+ years, this was Christmas morning.  Running into the living room to see what Santa brought us.  The same spot each year... it was Christmas at Grandmas.  She'd come out of her room and ask what Santa had brought us... it was so familiar every single year.  We loved it.  I love it still thinking about those days.

Looking back now, it wasn't the presents or Santa that made those Christmases so amazing.  It was the warmth of Grandma's house.  It was being so excited to see her when we pulled up.  It was her giving nature and the look of joy and pride when we were all in the living room opening gifts.  Later in the morning it was the the whole family opening presents in the living room and being around family.  Maybe it wasn't what I was thinking back then, but I was way more excited to see Grandma and the cousins than I was for the presents.

Writing this I feel like I can't adequately put into words what Christmas at Grandma's meant to me.  I can't adequately explain how Great Falls will never be the same for me to visit without her there and it breaks my heart.  With that said, I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world to have experienced someone and somewhere that had such a profound impact on me and that most of my childhood memories are based upon.  I miss Grandma so much and love reading all these stories - every single Christmas morning I will think of the green beds... of the creaks of the pipes and the house... of the living room where Santa visited dozens of times... of Grandma coming out and saying "Merry Christmas" and seeing what Santa brought us.  I'll think of the love and warmth that followed Grandma everywhere she was.

I love you all so much.

Nate

Here's to you Gramma

Greetings all!!! First, I just want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and blessed New Year!! I hope that wherever you are, you are surrounded by family and/or friends who help to keep the true meaning of the season alive!  Now, on to my post about Gramma.

Like Meghan, I have thought a lot about what I wanted to say in my post. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone's posts and the memories that they have of this very special woman. And I have done the same thing. I have thought a lot about my memories of her and the time I spent with her and I can honestly say that I don't think I have one memory that stands out among the rest. Sure, there was the time that she slapped my hand at the table (I was 23 at the time) because I reached for a second cookie (breaking her one cookie after dinner rule), or the time I came up the stairs early in the morning to head to work and Gramma was sprawled on the floor of the T.V. room doing her morning stretches, or the time I came home from work and her dentures had broken and were being fixed and she still managed to give me a big smile to welcome me home.  But the thing that stands out among the rest is family.  The numerous gatherings at her house. The whiffle ball tournaments in her backyard. The crab apple tree and the raspberry bushes. The Little Caesars $5 pizzas to feed the masses, and the cooler of Shasta soda (grape was the best!).  And there she was, at the center of it all.

Gramma has always been at the center of every family gathering that I can remember. Graduations, weddings, family picnics, sporting events, you name it, Gramma was there---especially when it involved her family. You know, I never saw Gramma cry, but I distinctly remember at her 90th birthday party when she stood up to thank everyone, and she got choked up.  It was like she finally realized the amount of love that was being poured onto her by this amazing family. And it wasn't because she was blind to it, it was because she was so busy pouring her love out to all of us, that it took having us all under one roof to celebrate that milestone for her to look out and see just what she was the matriarch of.  This amazing, loving, supportive family who has been through a lot of ups and downs, but has always had someone to lean on in the face of it all.  I count my blessings everyday that I am in such a love-filled family.  Jake touched on it during the vigil, and I know it has been said time and time again through these posts, but I honestly did not realize that every family wasn't like this.  In my world, having people who truly loved and supported one another, who truly enjoyed being around each other, and who were truly interested in the happenings of each others' lives, that was common, that was normal.  But that unfortunately isn't common.  These core values that make a family what it is, just aren't valued as much anymore.

Gramma was the center.  How fitting that she was able to bring everyone (except 3 people I think) together earlier this month. And she will continue to be the center, because she lives in each one of us. I know that she and Grandpa are both looking down on all of us with smiles on their faces and tears of joy in their eyes because they feel that outpouring of love that they valued so much when they were here.

Thank you Gramma---for the smiles, the laughter, and the love.  But most of all, thank you for this family.

Blessings and love to you all,
Jen

Merry Christmas

It's almost Christmas and I want to interrupt our absolutely amazing and wonderful memories for these thoughts:
As you all know, mom absolutely loved Christmas. But she had one rule: you couldn't start decorating until after Thanksgiving (this was also her ongoing battle with the gift shop--one I think she lost in the last few years).
Most of you had a hand in either putting up or taking down all those Christmas decorations that she had. Monday, after lunch, the six of us went through her decorations--about 10 big plastic storage boxes worth and conjured up some special memories. We will bring those to the next family picnic for everyone to go through and pick out their favorites.
Mom was also very generous with her Christmas cheer. I can remember her making lists to make sure she didn't forget anyone and that all gifts were fairly equal. And who can forget her closet where she kept all those things she bought throughout the year because it was perfect for "someone". In later years she and Mary would sit down and go through the bonus buck list so she could get gift cards for everyone.
So as we remember our special mom/grandma let us try and keep the meaning of Christmas in our hearts just like she did.
Love you all tons, Connie

Grandma

First off I want to say Merry Christmas Eve! Dee and I are spending it here with our pups and heading to Michigan to spend next week with her family. Here's to hoping y'all are on the nice list. Oh and also check out Abe and Desiree's sister Fabi's remix of Joey's song posted earlier today.  It is beautiful.

Ben already touched on this but my favorite memories of Grandma are the Sunday dinners.  It was a great way to get re-charged for another week and get to chat and play cards with her.  We were supremely lucky that we got to do that so often.

A few other thoughts: even though I never got to meet Grandpa John I always felt that since I was bestowed his name for my middle that I was one of his favorite 4 grandsons.  Probably not true, but hey, I feel it anyway.  Throughout my life when things, good or bad, happened I always felt a strong presence watching out for me, and in my heart I always felt it was him. He and Grandma continued their partnership in that way, with him guiding from up there and her taking care of it down here   From isolation during cancer treatment, to Rika 2, to med school graduation and tons of stuff in between they were always there.  I would ask him for guidance, forgiveness, and simply company.  Most of the time during my crazier years, I thought that if Grandpa was around he'd probably be right in there with me living it up and having a good time, so the whole forgiveness thing was sometimes a mute point.  But now that Grandma's up there with him, I find myself acting a little more Christian, imbibing a little less and watching my step with closer vigilance.  Pretty sure should would not have appreciated a lot of the earlier stuff, that'll just stay my and Grandpa's secret.

When I was home for the funeral I spent a lot of time looking back at old pictures in my mom's albums.  One thing I noticed is that Grandma was always leaning in.  She was engaged. She listened. She cared.  She made you feel that at that tiny moment in time you were the only thing that mattered.  I loved that.  The only times I didn't notice it is when she had a beer in her hand and was sprawled on a deck chair. and I mean come on, we all need a break sometimes.  I have started using this as my life mantra of sorts, LEAN IN.  It's hard to do all the time.  Our world now puts everything we could ever want in our hands in the form phones, Ipads and computers.  We are always in a rush to get to the next patient, or meeting, or appointment. It's tough sometimes to appreciate what is smack dab right in your face.  Now that she is up there watching, I'm trying to emulate her selflessness. I think Grandpa would like it too.

Lean in.

Love you all so much,

Jake

Grandma's Song (Abe&Fabi Remix)

I was very happy and honored that Joey took some modest lyrics and turned them into a really beautiful song.  My sister-in-law Fabianne really liked the song, so she added some harmony vocals and I added some more guitar stuff.  I don't know that we've improved the original in any way, but it was fun and I liked spending some quality time with Joey's song.  Hope you enjoy. 

Grandma Jeanne

Ever since Tom issued the "challenge" to us all to post a memory of Grandma every day, I've been contemplating what to write about her.  As we have all mentioned, there are so many memories surrounding her, our family, the house, our gatherings, etc.  And it's an incredibly unique thing to have that - as almost all of us have discovered as we've entered adulthood and realized that not every family is that lucky.  I think Matt's cousin toast at the cemetery was incredibly poignant and true - we all have our differences in opinion and can all be very opinionated (much like our matriarch) but we don't let it brood distrust and hurt feelings.  We are a very open family - which is a characteristic Grandma embodied daily.  We learned to take each other where we were in our season of life by the example Grandma showed us all.

I remember before the family picnic in Great Falls at Giant Springs when Abe was dating Karla.  I don't know why or how we were talking about it, but he wondered if Grandma would be okay with Karla and the fact that she is black.  I said I don't think Grandma would care one way or the other as long as she was nice.  That sentiment rang true throughout her entire life.

Living with her opened my eyes to who Grandma was as a person and not just my Grandma.  Her faith was incredibly deep and pious and it was shown by the way she lived.  She didn't spout scripture or vocalize her prayers or demand we attend Mass or pray daily or seek forgiveness when we wronged others.  She showed us how to do that.  That is something I cease to be amazed at.  It is hard to find a genuine Christian Catholic person who lives their faith the way Grandma did.  She was do adept at adapting to many of life's changes - challenges of kids, losing her husband, drastic changes in her home parish, moving in her older years.

Her actions are an example for which to strive.  We should all be inclined to look a bit more on the brighter side, treat others with a bit more kindness, laugh a bit more, and be honest with others.  Grandma did and it was appreciated.

I remember when Charlie was born and we told Grandma we had named her Charlotte with a nickname Charlie.  She replied without hesitation, "Oh Bid would be so happy.  But I'm not calling her Charlie.  That's a boy's name and a stupid name for a girl."  It made me smile then and now.

She didn't say things "like that" to hurt feelings.  They were her opinion and she was going to be honest.  And it didn't offend because she loved so much we knew the intent wasn't to offend.  There is being honest then there is being brutally honest with the latter seeming to lean more towards hurting than helping.  Grandma was the former.   She was a blessed soul and one we were incredibly lucky to have as a Grandma.
-----
On a lighter note and piggy-backing on a story Mom shared:  when I was living with her, we went to Taco Treat for dinner.  As usual, she ordered her two tacos and a beer.  However, one of the Taco Treats had been caught in a recent sting by the police department.  Therefore they were carding everyone.  Grandma hadn't grabbed her driver's license, just some cash.  Therefore, the cashier said she couldn't give her a beer.  She guffawed at this until she realized the cashier was serious.  I then said "Don't worry Grandma.  I have mine.  I'll buy you beer."  First time I've had to buy beer for someone 60 years my senior!

Well, it's pretty hard following Joey's post, but just a little something from Benjamin.

Growing up in Great Falls us Wingerters were luckier than all the other cousins. We got to have Grandma for all holidays and birthdays and games, even though she thought us playing sports was pretty silly. The best was Sunday though.  We would go to church and then have cinnamon rolls and coffee every Sunday with Grandma.  When we were younger we got to take turns and individually spend the day with her after church. Then every Sunday dinner was spent at Grandma’s house or she would come over to ours. We never really had too many dinners together as a family during the week because everyone was so busy but Sunday dinner was always special especially with Grandma present. I miss those Sunday dinners the most for sure.

Like Miranda said, Grandma was a big inspiration to me when I was working at the nursing homes.  Sometimes the older people need a ton of encouragement to do their therapy.  When I would get a little discouraged with some of my people all I would have to do is think: this is someone’s grandparent and I would think of Grandma.

When I was working in Butte a few years ago I was making some small talk with one of my people.  He told me that he used to sell life insurance for New York Life and of course told him that he probably knew my Grandpa.  He said that he and his wife would always hang out w John and Jeanne Moore at their work meetings because they were always so much fun. After McKinley was born I took her to see Adrienne at work and the guy’s wife just happened to around.  When she found out we were related to the Moores she went on to say what great people they were and how lucky Adrienne was to be part of such a great family. That made me very proud to have her as my grandma. 

She will surely be missed.

A Grandmother Remembered

When I think about Grandma Jeanne, there aren't too many specific quotes I remember her giving me or specific conversations we may have had.  What I do remember are small snippets like pieces of a puzzle, where you aren't quite sure what they are independently but when put together form a picture.
As Matt said, we were lucky to live only 90 minutes from Great Falls and often made the trip south to shop for Christmas, shop for back to school, shop for groceries, etc.  Lots of shopping.  We would always stay with Grandma for the day, or maybe a night depending on the trip.  I remember eating dinner in the dining room at the table, the two single beds in the basement bedroom, toys scattered on the basement floor, playing in the yard with cousins, eating Little Caesar's Pizza, watching TV in the TV room, the taste of the water, and many more little things.  I remember family gatherings at Grandma's house with cousins, aunts, and uncles and all the visiting and games that would ensue.  As a child I figured that the way our family was was pretty much how every family would be.  It wasn't until I got older that I realized how special our family is, and it all started with Grandma.  She brought everyone together and nurtured the loving, caring family that we are all a part of (in her own unique way).  She took in a lost 24 year old who quit his job in the middle of the night and showed up on her doorstep needing a place to live, no questions asked.  She thoughtfully wrote cards and gave gifts to all of her children, grandchildren, and many great grandchildren for years.  Grandma was as special as a person can get, and I will miss seeing her at the Family Picnic and stopping in to visit when I'm in Great Falls.  We lost a very special woman, but we gained an amazing family through her.

I have heard from my friends and others who have been around my family how amazing it is and they can't believe how well everyone gets along.  I still don't really think about that much, because that's just the way it is, but I truly feel blessed to be a part of this family and look forward to the many years to come of Family Picnics and gatherings and passing along the love Grandma gave to all of us.

After I read Abe's poem, I started thinking about writing a song.  I'm not much of a songwriter, but I can come up with music quite frequently.  So when I was thinking about what to post, I thought turning Abe's poem into a song would be perfect since the writing was already there.  With his permission I am posting his song with my music and singing.  I've never really sung in front of anyone before, but that's just what Grandma brings out of you, right?  Abe worked a little bit with the song and added some things, but this is the version with just me.  I will add his rendition later when I get it from him.  I love you Grandma!

Jeanne

I was blessed with a truly wonderful mother-in-law. Jeanne made it easy to be her daughter-in-law. She would never interfere with what was going on in your life. She only gave advise when you asked, and she only wanted to be helpful and give you the best direction. But if you needed anything she was there for you with open arms, and we needed her many times!

When Shannon was born, Jeanne came to Rapid City to help out. While we were looking forward to her visiting with us and just hanging out, she had other ideas. She cooked, baked, did laundry, and cleaned the house. She even got on her hands and knees to clean the floors! She wanted to be useful, and I really appreciated all her help and what she did for us.

I enjoyed Jeanne's visits to Billings and always looked forward to them. When she ran the gift shops, she would come to Billings for market. She was kind enough to let me tag along with her. We would have so much fun looking at all the merchandise, and it was fun to how she chose what she chose. She had developed many great relationships with the vendors, and you could see how much they enjoyed dealing with her.

Jeanne's faith was truly beautiful. I learned so much from her and her faith journey. She inspired me and made me reflect on my relationship with God. I am so grateful for that.

Jeanne was good to me, I loved having her in my life, and I am going to miss her.

Jeanine

Memories

Sorry it's took me most of the day to post this.  I'm quite bad about checking the blog, so I had a lot of catching up to do.  These stories are terrific!  Great idea, Tom.  I wanted to share a few stories highlighting Gramma's sense of humor.

When she was moving out of the house on 5th Ave, I happened to be in town one weekend and so went over to help box things up.  I was relegated to the bathroom.  I found a strange looking brush, sort of like a brush to manage a horse's mane, but smaller.  Gramma happened to be walking by the bathroom when I found it.  "Gramma", I said.  "What is this brush for? It would be a perfect foot brush!"  I tend to suffer from very dry feet.  Gramma said, with a totally straight face, "That is my denture brush.  It is not for your feet and I would appreciate it if you never bring it anywhere close to your feet.  Now put it in the box and move along."  Of course I was mortified, but couldn't help but laugh, because, you know, laughing is my favorite.  She joined me for a few chuckles.  Classic.

When I told Gramma I had decided to go to St. Olaf (a Lutheran school) for college, I think Gramma was a little disappointed, especially since my other top choices were good Catholic schools like Carroll and Gonzaga.  She never gave me any big speeches about the dangers of being out "in the real world", but only said "I don't care what you do in college, you will not come home a Lutheran!"  Although now looking back on it, it seems funny, at the time, she was dead serious.  I guess her tolerance goes only so far.

She never called me by my real name.  She never even put it on a card - it was always Randi and occasionally Randa.  In one of my sassier moments, I informed her my name was Miranda.  She explained that pet names are reserved only for those you really care about.  That's why she always called me Randi.  To this day, no one outside of "the family" - not even my dark side family or Nathan - calls me anything but Miranda.

It's very strange to me to think about the world without Gramma.  She was such an important part of my life.  She is why I have such a love for older adults.  In my mind growing up, Gramma and her friends were the best people on the earth!  No one's opinion mattered to me as much as Gramma's.  Although I know I did things she did not agree with at times, I never felt anything but love from her.  She was home to me as much as my parents are.  I have never met such a great conversationalist - she not only listened intently to what you were saying, but cared about what you were saying and would treat you like the only person in the room when she was talking to you.  I will miss everything about you, Gramma.  Love, Randi.

What a lady.

Remembering Grandma is such a gift.  I feel like I will always have this really special, beautiful human to reflect on to help shape my own life.

There are so many things I love about Grandma, but her huge loving heart and her ability to say pretty much anything, and still be pulling you closer, not pushing you away are unique qualities that I will always cherish.

As many others have mentioned, the way she was always waiting when we got to her house, by the back door, with big open arms and a kiss on the cheek.  It's rare to have felt so welcomed in all my life.  In fact, I've used her way of welcoming, really truly caring that you are at her house, as a significant story when teaching my staff how to be with our clients.  Of course, we can never quite get to that level, but we can always try.

Her ability to say anything, while creating a closer relationship, not distance, is something that is so inspiring.  She spoke her truth, so you knew what she meant.  But it was always with love and tenderness.  Being able to be a strong brilliant woman with a soft, open heart, is what I want for myself and my daughters, and I'm forever grateful to have her a shining example of how to do this.

I'm also incredibly inspired by her faith.  It's hard to say if what has shifted in my own faith since her passing is because of reflecting upon her life, or because she left something special in my heart.  But I can say that though we take very different routes to god, I feel her love of god every day.

Jeanne remembered

As I have said many many times, I could not have asked for a greater family to married into than the Moore family.  And that started with John and Jeanne.  For the past 36 years, Jeanne has never once made me feel anything other than loved.  She never lectured or offered her unsolicited opinion.  However when asked, she always gave the best advice – simple and clear.  Jeanne was the most graceful lady I have ever met.  Whether it was hosting parties or hanging out at family picnics, you just knew she was the General in a subliminal way.  Jeanne was very and truly thankful whenever I helped out.  BBQ’ing for her friends, roofing her house, or just inviting her to dinner.  Her smile, laugh, and hugs always told me I was loved and I was important to her.  Our talks long ago on how to raise a family, or how to manage a household, or even how to be a Christian were invaluable and inspiring.  She just knew what to say to get me going in the right direction.  This world has lost a wonderful person and Heaven has gained a shining star.  I will miss answering her questions on how work is going, there will always be a void at family gatherings and special dinners, and I will never forget how Jeanne enhanced my life.  Thank you Jeanne.  Peace be with you.  I love you!!! 
Jim W

My Grandma

I have many fond memories of Grandma Jeanne.  I was lucky enough to grow up within a short drive of Grandma so that it was easy for us to make a trip to see her.

As I contemplate what to write as a reflection now that she is gone, it is hard to pinpoint a single memory or specific story that stands out above the rest.  What I will remember of my Grandma is the way her voice sounded when I walked in the door for a visit as she greeted me with, “Well hello, Matthew.  How the heck are ya?”  Carrying the perfect pitch for emphasis and pausing perfectly on each word of the question so that you knew how much she really cared to know.  I will miss her hugs and the way she pulled me in no matter how tall I got (or how short she got).  And finally the way she would walk up to me at a gathering and wrap her arm around my waist for a squeeze that only a Grandma can give to have a chat about the events taking place or to just stand there by her grandson.

She was an amazing woman who lived a life that is a model of how we can all be better people.  She gave us the gift of family and her legacy will live on in each of us.  I can’t wait to get together again next summer!

Love you all,

Matthew

Memories of Grandma Jeanne

The last time I saw Grandma was after the last family picnic in White Sulphur.  Molly, Jen and I took her out to lunch at her favorite spot - Taco Treat - and we had a great conversation.  At one point I remember making a comment about how many people there were at the picnic and I told her that it was all her doing.  Then she turned and smiled a bit and said, "Well I did have some help there".  I think her greatest legacy is the wonderful, amazing family that she started and that continues to grow today.  Her spirit will continue to live through all of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Things I'll miss about her are many, but some I'll always remember:  how she would always ask me "Michael John how are you?" every time she saw me and always in a way that made me feel she truly wanted to know and not just because she was being polite; her impatience with my slow counting of the cribbage cards that usually resulted in her counting my points for me; how her house was always open for any and all needing a place to stay, whether it was for a night or a month.

She was one of the strongest, selfless, and most compassionate people I know and I am truly blessed to be a part of her family.
Michael John

Memories of Jeanne

My memories of Jeanne are ones of cribbage games, Catholic versus public school discussions, hello and goodbye hugs, and a warm and generous heart--I will miss her terribly. Marc

First, I don’t mean to pop in front of Bill and Marc but I wanted to share these pics and do my post before we are too far behind the daily schedule. There were so many pictures from the weekend of Grama’s funeral that I thought I would upload them to a site where everyone can see all of them. Click on the date “2015-12-13” or the “View Album” to peruse through all the pictures. The link is here: https://moorefamilypicsdecember2015.shutterfly.com/pictures#n_5

There are a few memories of Grama that truly shaped my life.

I remember being in her kitchen after Grampa’s funeral with food piled on tables and counters and loving kindness being administered in every corner. I witnessed one friend hug her and offer kind words of condolences. Grama responded by saying, “All we can do now is pray.” I think that statement stayed as a permanent impression with me because, having been raised without a faith, I found it so confusing. I just couldn’t understand how prayer could help, why she would mention that in the midst of such sadness. I pondered on it often, just wondering.

And Mass. I loved going to Mass with Grama. I didn’t do it that often but I loved the standing and kneeling and memorized prayers. I loved that she was one of the people up front, helping with the bread and wine. I loved shaking people’s hands all around me, that was my favorite part.

I loved the way Grama would rub her face when she said a prayer at mealtime. I loved her example and strength. I wanted to be old like her and strong like her. She was so perfect to me.

This person, her love and faith and example, brought me to the place I am today. In hard times, I found goodness through prayer before I really understood it, because of her. The first time I walked into the chapel of the church I have now grown to love, I felt sweet familiarity. It reminded me of those fond memories of going to church with Grama and strongly influenced my desire to keep going. I spoke with her after joining the LDS church, afraid that she would not be fond of my choice and she said, “We are both worshipping the same God” just as light and loving as a soul can be. I have long referred to Grama as an angel in my life and am so grateful that God blessed me with knowing and loving such greatness.

Jeanne and me

I remember cribbage games with Jeanne and John. They ended up taking us out to dinner a few times.
Enjoyed taking her out to lunch. Had a few arguments about who was going to pay for it.
Had a good friendship with her.
This is from Bill's heart.
I'd like to add a postscript to this and tell the story about their first meeting.
I met Bill in January of 1974. That summer we drove to Couer 'd Alene and spent the 4th of July with many of his family members. We then drove to Whitefish and I introduced him to my family. Shortly after we arrived mom was assigning beds for everyone to sleep in and when we got to the end she had assigned the same bed to both Bill and me. Now you know that was against her beliefs, so she rectified it rather quickly. She did welcome him with open arms though.

Jeanne

From the cold flat ground

a warm heart would grow

a chin raised with faith

and the first car in Harlow.

First in her class,

the speech she gave

sent her picnic boys

off to war, faces brave.

One was John from the ranch

who followed his brother

and he would return

to give her a sweet mother.

And make her one, too

three girls, three boys

a week for a wedding

a lifetime of joy.

Not that it was easy

life hurts as it grows

but you can be sad or be happy

you know what she chose.

She chose sweets in her home

she chose kids in her lawn

and when John had to leave

she chose to carry on.

She chose laughter with family

She chose unbending views

She chose cribbage as the kitchen’s

Only real use.

She chose no one below her

always Christ up above

she chose grace and forgiveness

most of all, she chose love.

Then one quiet morning

she finally sighed

alone with her God

and nothing to hide.

Back to the cold ground

our warm heart has gone

a birthday gift

for her darling John.

Memories of an amazing woman.

When everyone called me Maurika or Rika, she called me "Mo".  My dad still does this and I love it because it reminds me of Grandma.  I have her middle name.  Jeanne.  I love that too.

Grandma Moore, and then later Grandma Jeanne has always been an "untouchable" to me.  Just an impossible strength and fortitude that I hoped would shine through me someday.  (still hoping for that to be true)  She had a secret closet full of wrapping paper and gifts for when she needed them, neatly refolding wrapping paper after christmas.  I do that.  Both of those things actually.   You just never know when you'll need an immediate gift.  Thoughtful, with a select few close friends, I admire the way she navigated the world.

Aside from all of the sweet treat hiding places, and I think I knew them all, my favorite memory of Grandma was in the little things a kid notices.  Morning exercises with the plastic blue and white rope contraption hanging from the closet door.  Hand creme in the bathroom.  Dozens of brightly colored lip stick tubes in the bathroom drawer.  Diet Shasta.  Lucky Charms.  Christmas cookies with Hersheys Kisses in the middle.  A shoe organizer on her bedroom closet door.  Family photos on the wall.  All of the things you see when you are waist high and wandering about...

Intimately however my treasured memory was at Grandma's 90th birthday party.  We were sitting together just watching the family play together.  She had stated her usual witness to the event of us all getting along - which seemed to fascinate her.  Somehow we started talking about the letters my dad has been sending me every month detailing his childhood.  (one of my favorite Christmas gifts ever)  I beamed relaying how John not only relayed his childhood but also drew diagrams of his memories of the house.  The yard.  The shed in the back.  She listened intently and then said.  "He was always such a quiet boy.  I never really knew what he was thinking." pausing she then asked.  "Do you think he was happy?" This was incredible, the opportunity I had been given to give my Grandma - someone I admired and looked up to - a gift of a lifetime.  I just said "Yes.  The memories were thoughtful, detailed, funny and even sarcastic.  I think he was happy."  She just smiled.  "Good."  she said with the emphatic downward nod.  Then the moment was over.

She lives in all of us.  In our smiles, our recipes, our style, our compassion, faith, love...  Admittedly I am still quite melancholy wishing I could see her whenever I want.  Feeling guilty I wasn't there more when she maybe needed me to be.  But I know when I'm honest with myself she wouldn't even hear of it.  Her faith in life and how things are to be will live in me forever.  Miss you Grandma.  Mo.

Remembering Mom

A few favorite memories of mom and gratefulness over the years for being instrumental in helping me “find my way” in my 20’s and early 30’s are what come to mind.  She let me move back home a few times but with a standing rule, you must be working or going to school.  I’ve been reading her family letters she would send out to the Poiriers and Dutchie back in the 80’s and 90’s.  She would mention what her kids were up to and would end with me and the happenings in my life.  She would also say she was glad to have me around to do all the odd jobs she would come up with and the ongoing cribbage games.  This would continue when I moved into the house next door.  Those were very special years of which I will not soon forget.

Later in life she was able to visit Beryl and I in every city we lived, even Pahrump.  She was always impressed with how well we were doing in our jobs but couldn’t quite figure out why we had goats.  Her last trip was to Boise in 2011.  We had a wonderful weekend packed full of local sightseeing and activities.  That was a very special time I was glad to have my mom over for a visit.  I will definitely miss popping into her condo/room unannounced and seeing her joyful expression.  As with dad, she will always be in my thoughts and dreams.